Help me, I’m a husk. Seriously, all the walking around in the bitter cold wind and driving around with the heater blowing is sucking every drop of moisture out of my skin. Look at Leo up there with his chapped winter cheeks. Poor buddy. By the end of a day in this weather, I’m Old Snakeskin Face O’Malley. My hands? Wrinkled witch claws. My feet? Let’s just say I can’t win and it isn’t pretty. Anyway, having lived in this extreme climate most of my life, I’ve got some tricks when it comes to fending off red winter cheeks and reptilian hands. These are pretty much hypoallergenic, kid- and man-friendly suggestions (except one). What are your go-to winter skin remedies? (Share in the comments!)

1. The old standby face grease.

Vaseline

Don’t question the magic. This is my go-to everything remedy with my kids when we head outdoors. It’s totally neutral, doesn’t sting and it protects their red, dry cheeks. It’s also good for that weird ring-around-the-lips thing that toddlers and preschoolers get as well as chapped noses. Totally cheap. I’ve heard the one mixed with cocoa butter is also rad. Have you tried it?

2. My all time favorite face cream.

Cerave

I have the world’s driest, most sensitive, redheaded skin. You know what works for the crazy red ring of dryness around my mouth and the patches on my cheeks? Not one single expensive cream I’ve bought at Nordstorm or Sephora. CeraVe PM is the jam. You can get it at Walgreens. My dermatologist told me about it. It’s unscented, not too heavy, and it WORKS. Scale-spots and irritation gone. The CeraVe body cream, which is also pretty great, is available by the tub at Costco.

3. This wonderful Alpine balm.

elta

Elta is kind of like Chapstick for your body. Key: Put it on after a shower when your skin is still damp. It’s unscented and melts in your hands when you scoop it out. It’s thinner than Vaseline and absorbs quickly. Great for rough patches like heels and elbows.

4. My second favorite face cream.

Dr H

Dr. H Rose Day Cream is kind of spendy and girly but it’s made with essential oils and it smells heavenly. It slathers on thick (a thinner “light” version is also available) in a way that soothes my burning cheeks and just feels good.

5. Yep, right from the kitchen.

Coconut oil

I know it seems crazy, but it is actually total heaven. Either use a dry brush before showering or loofa in the shower to loosen dry skin. Then towel dry and slather this great-smelling stuff (also melts in your hands) all over. Fantastic for children, post bath.

6. The big gun.

ulactin

When the knuckles are cracking and bleeding or the itchy patches of bumps crop up on the backs of arms, I use U-Lactin. It’s not glamorous. It comes from the old folks section of the pharmacy, it goes on thin and feels a little medicinal, but it seriously works. The trick is, though, you can’t stop using it before the weather changes or the problem will come back.

So there’s a tour of my Alaska winter skin arsenal. What’s in yours? Anybody have a miracle hand cream? And the feet? How do we fix the feet?